What is Happiness?

What is happiness? Most would answer that happiness is when you are feeling great with no worries. Some say happiness is warm blanket, Charlie Brown. I think this is an adequate topic for the day. Lately I have been feeling less than satisfied. Not really happy. And I am not sure that if I do find happiness if it will stick because after all not everything is set in stone and is in constant motion. I have been married for almost 5 years. That might have some play into how I am feeling considering that my last marriage ended 15 days before my 5th anniversary. the memory of then might be getting to me but I know there's more to it than that. I wont get into the nitty gritty here. However, I can say that I would like to go back to school. I like learning and though it would make me happy to get on with my education, I have to think, will I be happy with everything afterwards. I know that I would like to feel more happy with some of the choices I have made and honestly I am not at this moment.

So what is happiness? It can't be bought that is for sure and I am not by any means a materialistic person. I have learned that life is not about stuff that you have though they do add to your achievements in life. They just show what you have done with it. Doesn't mean you are happy. Then again I know people who are not happy and have a minimalist home setting. I could go off on another topic about what a home says about your self and mine says quite a bit. Still, this one person who doesn't like to live with much and is "happy" not living with much is not actually happy with their own life. Then again I think that they keep it that way because they worry about getting hurt. I may not have a considerable amount in my oddly cluttered home (an oxymoron I know). But it isn't that I want more things. It can't be what can be bought that would make me, or anyone else who has learned enough, happy.

Happiness is not day to day things you have to do to maintain your life. Work, cleaning to make sure you house is clean (though it does help with stress not to have a messy home with the blinds fully open to let in some good old vitamin D), tending a garden (it's just for appearances sake anyway), or anything that may show that you are happy with your life. I have the theory that a woman's role (and men's as well) is her sanity. But there are two sides to the coin. It could also be their insanity. So I don't think that what you do to maintain you life can lead to being happy either.

Happiness can not be . . . settling for less than what would make you happy. Let me explain, you are over 30, you work a menial job that granted pays well but the hours are shotty, you cook, you clean, you take care of kids, you have a spouse that doesn't seem to appreciate much of anything, you have a broken down vehicle, you talk to family to keep up with what's what. You have to ask for help with just about everything and feel like you are the worst person ever for doing so. So you lay at night unsure if you should watch a movie or read a book. Sometimes you don't know what to do. You can't talk to anyone because it somehow makes it all worse. Depression? Yes. Could the person feel like they can't get any better because it feels like to them this is as good as it gets? A high possibility. So why settle for less? This could be the reason. I don't mean go out make big bucks, get a maid to do all the cleaning and a chef for your cooking, a 24/7 handy man when something breaks, a babysitter to do all what you do everyday no matter what (like a mailman) and a counselor. Though a counselor can't hurt.

Happiness is what can make you feel content in life. Busy or not. Some people are rightfully happy being busy everyday but taking a break is beneficial and should never be taken for granted. When you get to be thirty you can always look back on your life and pick apart what made you happy then. It could be the smallest thing. Or it could be everything. Maybe you made a wrong turn in life. Drugs, alcohol, abusive relationships (which I understand how tough it is to get out of those), or whatever. Go back to school if you need to. Get some new skills. Meet new people. Travel if you have the funds. take someone with you to share the memories. be sure to take photos because besides the ones you can talk about good times with, photos can be some of the best links to good times. If you think you are too wired, get rid what you can actually live with out and keep it to a minimum. Buy books and turn off the TV. Take a walk and forget the reality show (they'll just make you depressed and critical and who cares about being that into other's personal lives). Get a pet to be there when others are busy. Eat better (it really helps). Change jobs. Let the kids go on a vacation for a bit and write them and talk to them as often as possible. Hearing about their adventures can bring big smiles. Just make sure they come home. If you miss the religious sector then take it up again or if you want to venture to other beliefs and broaden your horizons, do so. I did and I don't regret it.

Happiness isn't about money, material objects, what you do day-to-day to maintain your appearance of how happy you want to be. It's about balancing your life. You need just as much positive space as you do negative (I don't mean bad, I mean filled). And if you feel crowded, then get uncrowded. Like Meg Ryan in Hanging up. Put down the dang cell phone and look around. Honestly, I fear people to become like the future cartoon characters in Wall-E. Don't you love it when movies mimic possibilities of life?

Also, if you have been living minimalist most your life and don't mind a bit of daily buzz of the city life, do it in moderation. You really don't want to get sucked up in all the hub bub. Eventually it gets old and I don't see how one can listen to noisy traffic at night anyway. This is my daily ramble. May you find your happiness. thirty or not.