Single Parenting, But Married

This Christmas season is going to be one for my book. I have worked hard for the checks I get and it seems I get no respect for it from the husband who doesn't work and likes to spend money. I usually end up arguing with him about money. The money is usually spent on food. You might think, well, food is important. Not when you have enough food in your house and what he wants will only add to the weight he claims he wants to lose. I feel very upset by that in particular because I plan out meals and a snack for each day of the month and when I cook, I expect that it be taken a bite out of at least  or you can go hungry. If you want to complain, contribute to the budget. Anyhow, this really isn't my topic but it is one of my peeves.

My topic is that I will be telling my husband who is visiting family in another city right now for a few days that the job he mentioned that was hiring, he should apply for. Granted I don't completely like the thought of being married but not having my husband here as I have seen my Mom go through this during the summer months. My step father works on helicopters and fights fires during the summer. The rest of the year when he is home he works 5AM to 5PM Monday through Friday. So he wakes up pretty early. At 3AM to be exact because he has to commute. Also, many other people in the country are having to work away from home for long periods of time and since I am a capitalist and believe in hard work and working for what you need, not always what you want, I guess I really shouldn't be too selfish about the fact that I would be a working Mom who is parenting two of the three kids by herself majority of the week. As I have mentioned in my last post about my 30's Crisis, I pretty much do everything myself anyway. My only issue with him working away from home is that I would have to find a sitter.

I have one for the next couple of days but I do understand that she is wanting to move back to her hometown. Since my father and step-mother don't really want to help me with watching the kids, I would have to get day care. Now, normally I would prefer a home setting. But with the list of sitters who have a home setting in this town I face several obstacles. One: I have a disabled Autistic 7-year girl who is not potty trained and also has a list of other limitations. I would have to have someone with a history of working with someone like my daughter. Two: I have a 2-year old boy who is typical but has a defiant mark in him. A characteristic of his father no doubt. Three: Most of the sitters with a home setting are hard to get into because they have a child limit and I have always had the bad luck of being on a waiting list. By the time I get to the top I, for some reason, don't need their assistance such as I am not working then. So, I would have to surcome to placing my kids in an actual day care. And many that are around here don't always have the best reviews and many, with the exception of one, don't have the means to help wit my Autistic daughter. Now the one that does have the ability to help has so many kids my head spins and I worry about my daughter because her social skills aren't age.... appropriate. Meaning she isn't at her social level for her age group. She acts more like she is 4 and social cues are not something she is good at. She can get teased and not understand that she is taunted, so as a result she will laugh along with other kids in this oblivious bliss. Also, she knows emotions but doesn't know how to respond to them coming from other people. Her cognitive understanding of conversation is even lacking. Questions are difficult for her to answer. This part of trying to be a good parent and do what is best for her is very difficult for me to do. Anyhow....

Beyond that, the kids really don't like listening to me as they should for a parent. I have been nice to them and I have been firm. I am trying to find a good ground to work with them on as they are both very different children. I can't even begin to describe this even as I type which is the best way for me to get everything out. I have been a single mother before. It was different then. My son wasn't thought of yet and I had both my daughters with me. The oldest was almost a text book version of the easy to raise child. My other daughter was as she is now. She needs lots  of help for any therapy you can think of. She had ten doctors and three therapists which now is that and a behavioral counselor. I am trying to keep on track on getting home assistance with her and possibly a tutor and additional therapy outside of what she gets now for her speech and physical. I have tried finding another occupational therapist but we live in a small town and there is only one and my daughter sees her already. She also needs a rigid schedule and I will be honest, I hate having a rigid schedule. She also has to have a GFCF Complex Carbohydrate diet low in sugar as she has high blood sugar and she takes 10 different meds each day that TG are chew-able I seemed to have this down pat when it was just me and the girls but now I feel like I have lost some of what I had that it took to be THAT Mom.

I don't get too much support outside the home that is family. Just a tad but not enough to help me feel sane. On top of the fact that I just don't want to do it alone, I know that it might be better in the long run. I know I need the extra income. I know it would stop my husband from spending money that he shouldn't and making to where I CAN'T do Christmas for two of the three kids. Or the fact that I have to play catch-up with bills. I have told myself to get over my qualms and just take it like a grown up woman. To do most of it by myself because after all my husband needs to stop mooching. He needs to start realizing that he CAN do it despite his back injury. He can work after all when he gets his disability just not full time and I believe there is a stipulation as to how much income he can have each month but I do have to double check that.

Well, I think I got most of that out. Thank you to those who have read this. I know I am not alone in this boat and should stop trying to not be in it or act like I am a victim of some sort. Not that I am. We do create our chains after all and if I am going to be writing articles about being responsible it would be arrogant of me to act like nothing of what I write applies to me.